Before I met my wife, I was just a late 20-something whose parents kept making side remarks about his unmarried status. They would let me know about ‘nice girls’ they knew who were single. Sometimes, when the ‘nice girls’ were reputed to be ‘writers just like you!’ I would say: “Well, I should take them out.”
My family thought: “Oh good, he’s ready to settle down.”

I thought: “I must assassinate the competition before she steals my potential agent.”